A story about believing in Santa (even when science said stop).
I’ve always considered myself a late bloomer. I believed in Santa Claus until 8th grade – and stopped only because my science teacher did a lecture before Christmas on why it's scientifically impossible for Santa to be real. It was supposed to be a fun and playful lecture before the holiday break and yet, I remember feeling completely deflated.
Thus began my complicated relationship with science! Haha.
At that point as a 13-year-old, while I didn't believe in the physical act of coming down the chimney and delivering presents – I still believed that some form of Santa and enchanted reindeer glided around the world and blessed every single house. No matter if people celebrated Christmas or not. While I didn't fully have the words for it at the time, something in me quietly believed in the generosity of spirit and goodness that Santa represented.
Having experienced that lecture, my imagination dimmed and my pre-teen existential angst grew. I turned away from curiosity and imagination and accepted the bleak method given to me that said: Santa (and magic) isn't real! Believe only what you physically see is possible because science says so.
(Note: I am by no means against science; however, I find certain science to be limiting when it doesn't acknowledge the miraculous as a variable. Example I learned through reading To Hear the Angels Sing: scientists who traveled to Findhorn, Scotland in the late 60s were absolutely baffled by the abundant, 40-pound vegetables and tropical plants that grew there as it was 'scientifically impossible' based on the soil quality. They had to accept that it was indeed – fairies!)
So my curiosity and belief in the miraculous deteriorated as an early teen. I replaced my secret evening prayers to the stars with Seventeen Magazine as my nightly scripture. I suppose that's pretty 'normal' at that age – but why is it normal?
Why is it largely accepted that stifling curiosity, wonder, and imagination is the logical thing to do to prepare for the 'real' world? Especially when so many events in our world are still unexplainable.
Thankfully, by Life's grace, my imagination, curiosity, and belief in unseen blessings and miracles never fully went away. By my late teens, I was slowly beginning to return to my belief in the miraculous, even if it couldn't be proven in a scientific formula. Obviously, that has only grown over time.
The thing about being openly curious, imaginative, and honest about believing in miracles is that people begin to share their secret magical stories with you. A few years ago on Christmas break, I went to a fitness class with my mom. It was just us two in the class, and she knew the trainer relatively well. He was in his mid-20s and had a salt of the earth Midwestern kindness about him, so when he asked what I did for a living, I told him about angels.
He did what most people do before they're about to share a miracle they've kept secret and haven't dared tell anyone else. He turned his eyes discreetly side to side to make sure no one else was listening – and then his voice turned to a near whisper. He said:
“When I was 12 years old, I woke up on Christmas Eve night, and I saw Santa and his reindeer flying through my room. I know that might sound crazy – and it only lasted a few seconds. At first, I was really scared because it shocked me – but then, this warm, cozy, loving feeling washed over me. I fell back asleep and woke up the next morning feeling like I'd already received the biggest gift. I've never told anyone that, because obviously – who believes in Santa?!?! But ever since that night, some part of me has always wondered.”
What if in my 8th grade class my science teacher had asked the class questions like… “Tell me about a time when you experienced a miracle. When something magical and unexpectedly pleasant happened that you previously thought impossible?”
What if my science teacher still showed the formula on the plausibility of Santa's existence but ALSO presenced the unseen variable called miracles, of questions that science still can't answer? What if I left that class with wonder and awe rather than a deflated defeat and dimmed down curiosity? Science doesn't have to make magical events feel any less magical. You only have to look to nature for infinite examples of real magic. In my experience, wonder is the bridge between logic and the miraculous.
Is it challenging for you to feel wonder during the holidays like you perhaps used to? To cross that bridge into connection with magic and curiosity like you did as a child?
If so, I invite you to try Angelic Breath Healing this December, whether you've never experienced it before, haven't tried a session in a long time, or did a session with me last week.
Angelic Breath Healing classes are designed to be a space for wonder, curiosity, and asking what if questions. They're a place to gently turn down the part of your mind that wants to figure things out and tap into the part of you that can feel things out, the language of your body and intuition that knows so much more than your conscious mind can articulate.
In the season of miracles, generosity of Spirit, and perhaps even Santa – these Angelic Breath Healing December Sessions are an invitation to explore relating with your Soul, the humble Honeybee, the Angelic Realm, and Christ Consciousness. Our topics each week offer a fresh take on themes that emerge as we approach the Winter Solstice:
December 1st: Angelic Breath Healing with your Soul
Spiritual Curriculum, Gifts and Acts of Service, Learning Opportunities
December 8th: Angelic Breath Healing with the Honeybee
Generosity of Spirit and the Hive's Healing Hum
December 15th: Angelic Breath Healing with the Angelic Realm
The Art of Asking, Listening to the Messengers of your Heart
December 22nd: Angelic Breath Healing with Christ Consciousness
Miraculous grace, Dawning Light in the Darkest Night
We begin this Friday, December 1st at 11:00am PST/1:00pm EST, and you can receive all the details here! All of the classes will be recorded and posted in a private web portal for those unable to attend live.
Whether you choose to slow down and find stillness during this holiday season through December Sessions or through simply taking some quiet time to listen to the sounds of nature and the beat of your own heart, I hope you receive this letter as encouragement to engage your curiosity, imagination and senses to re-engage with the wonder that's always around and within you.
With love,
Madeline