Ego creation vs. your heartfelt dreams

Today I'm called to share about the difference between nourishing a heartfelt dream versus exerting your personal will on life, a state sometimes referred to as ego creation.

I first learned about the distinction between the two while immersed in my Master’s in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica.

Ego creation centers around control – it is attached to outcomes, centers recognition, self-importance and external approval, and runs on willful creation – making something happen no matter what is metaphorically (or literally) bulldozed along the way. Ego creation doesn’t tend to end in win-win scenarios, and it rarely acknowledges how its actions might affect the whole.

Ego creation is exerting one’s will on Nature, like attempting to force a flower to bloom. (I’m convinced that chemical fertilizer is an ego creation resulting from lack of patience and a misled attempt to dominate nature.)

We are human beings, and we all have egos – it’s part of the experience here. And there’s nothing inherently bad about the ego; it’s necessary to form strong boundaries and have agency in life. However, forcing outcomes without consideration for the highest good of all concerned can be a sign that your ego is running the show: aka ego creation.

One of my favorite authors Cynthia Bourgeoult refers to the ego as the “egoic operating system” – when I first read that, I imagined the ego as a program installed on a computer desktop…a program that’s limited to its encodings.

In other words – if the egoic operating system is in the metaphorical driver’s seat of following a dream, it can feel like an exhausting exertion of personal will with no awareness of its ripple effect.

The missing element here isn’t lost, it’s simply waiting patiently for permission to return to its place in the drivers seat. This missing element? TRUST. Trust in yourself, in the power of nature, and trust that the Divine is here with you and will take care of you.

Nourishing a heartfelt dream is harmonizing with nature, setting a clear intention, planting your seeds and doing the work, while also allowing something even greater to unfold.

It’s an inside-out action that is Spirit-led and inspired. Challenges will inevitably require all parts of you to courageously step forth into action steps that may feel outside your comfort zone. The changes you’re required to make may go against the grain or status quo — and you might walk 1,000 steps with absolutely zero evidence that your actions are leading somewhere.

Rather than clinging to the ego’s will, your heartfelt dreams will ask you to surrender it, often exchanging it for something even better.

Your ego’s perspective is limited to you, but your soul sees the big picture – with a visionary capacity that’s deeply rooted into Earth and sky.

I think of youth climate activists and their courage to speak up and out, to rally in the face of a toxic system that’s hurting the planet. It takes courage to show up and participate in life in this way – particularly when the dominant “norm” (or nervous system capacity) is to numb out. They have no assurance of the outcome they want, yet they continue to work towards what they know in their hearts to be true, not only for themselves alone but for the highest good of all, including the planet.

Nourishing a heartfelt dream can break your heart awake into purpose so that it can open more fully and feel more alive. While you may have a crystal clear direction and goal (and I recommend that you do!), the process itself becomes the destination. The journey is the whole point, because the true treasures emerge through the person you’re becoming. Qualities such as courage, faith, trust, authentic self-expression, and integrity are nourished along the way – these qualities are the evolution of your Soul and hold a much deeper and long-lasting form of fulfillment than instant gratification (or perhaps even than manifesting your dream).

Nourishing a heartfelt dream may also feel like something you’ve been running from for awhile, a deep yearning that no matter what you do, where you go, or even how you might try to escape it, there it is, waiting patiently for you to surrender to it and accept that it’s what you really want despite whatever your ego thinks you should want.

This could be related to something specific – such as a dream for sacred union/partnership, community, a career path, creative vision, or calling. While it’s probably deeply personal, it may also feel universal. We all hold dream seeds planted in the holy darkness of our hearts, and we’re all here for a specific purpose that can contribute to a better world. Your dream of owning a business may be the answer to someone else’s prayers — perhaps many many others. This, too, requires the ego to step aside so that you can pursue your dream, trusting that if it will benefit and serve others, your success is inevitable.

To attune to your heartfelt dream, here are some prompts to guide you. I recommend setting a timer for 5 - 20 minutes and reflect on the following:

If I knew that anything was possible for me, I would...

If I could trust that the dream seeds planted in the holy darkness of my heart are destined to bloom, I would……

If I weren’t afraid, I would…

I yearn for….

Set your imagination free. Write honestly and allow the words to emerge, especially any words that make your ego speak up (“You shouldn’t want THAT. You don’t deserve it. That could never happen.”) Trust that the words that come from your heart are yours not only because they’re possible, but inevitable to serve the good of all.

With love,
Madeline