How do I know if this is a sign? The secret to navigating synchronicity.
This past week, I had an opportunity to practice discernment in the midst of a synchronistic experience. This nuanced topic is near and dear to my heart because it reminds me of my wide-open hearted, rose-colored glasses wearing, sweet (and naïve) younger self who did not practice discernment in the face of synchronicity – which led me down many rabbit holes, some rewarding, others not so much.
What are synchronicities? To me, they are magical events that nourish and encourage our faith and trust in the deeper yearnings of our hearts. Synchronicities can remind us that we aren’t alone; we are connected, and there is a mysterious and meaningful direction to our lives. We meet strangers (who might feel like angels in disguise) in unexpected circumstances who offer us the exact words or experience we need. We see signs that give us comfort and affirmation in moments we need to stay on a path or take a new one. I believe synchronicity can serve as a messenger for our prayers – and part of the magic of synchronicity is how divinely designed and personalized it can feel.
In my experience, receiving synchronicity feels like accessing another wise and magical world within this world – like in Harry Potter how Platform 9¾ is only visible and accessible to the magical ones. It can feel enchanting and elevating – and, in my case (at least in the past), it was easier to put all my trust in the synchronistic experience as proof that it was the ‘right’ way rather than welcome a synchronistic experience with a pause for reflection and discernment.
Without pause and discernment, I’ve found myself at risk of giving my power away, checking out of my body’s feedback signs while telling myself things like…
Well, we met in this magical way – so it must be meant to be!
We have all these highly specific things in common – we are destined for each other!
I saw a sign – I must follow it no matter what.
Sometimes a sign really is a sign to move in a particular direction. And sometimes it’s my own bias, seeing what parts of me might be desperate to see. A chance meeting or experience can feel meant-to-be based on the meaning I ascribe to it – and I’ve found the meaning I make out of an experience is directly related to whether or not I take time to pause and reflect. Discernment is the difference between intuition and delusion.
Here are some things I’ve learned about practicing discernment in the midst of synchronistic meetings and experiences…
Synchronicity + Discernment = Integrity
Synchronicities occur in the external world, whereas discernment is accessed from within. If integrity is when you align your outer actions with your inner values, practicing discernment within synchronistic meetings means creating space to evaluate whether alignment is present between this external sign and your inner values. This helps with consciously choosing your actions moving forward rather than overriding your intuition simply because something feels fated.
Discernment requires pause and body-based reflection.
A pause can look like giving yourself a night or more to sleep on it before making a decision. Reflection can look like journaling, asking yourself: how do I actually feel about this? What physical sensations did I notice in my body when engaging with this synchronicity and afterwards?
That said: sometimes synchronistic invitations are spontaneous, and a decision needs to be made in the moment. In these instances, taking a breath or two to pause and notice how your body is responding to this invitation in the moment can help with deciding.
Attuning to and learning your body’s (sometimes subtle) cues takes pause and practice. This isn’t about always making the ‘perfect’ decision – any choice you make can offer learning. It’s about giving yourself the gift of grace through pausing and acknowledging what’s present within you.
An incessant desire for synchronicity can illuminate underlying needs.
If you notice yourself trying to make something (or everything!) a sign that something is magically about to change, that a new connection is destined to be something special, or that you should take a job, move to a new city, etc., listen for the need within the desire. Sometimes, when you’re incessantly looking for a sign or synchronicity outside yourself, what’s really needed is a felt sense of safety and inner trust. Rather than insisting that the outer world morph itself into forced magic to accommodate your yearnings – check in on What in you yearns to be seen, held, and nourished – and how might you offer that to yourself here and now? What changes are you called to make now … and how might you move towards that in a truly doable way?
Synchronistic connections don’t need to be all or nothing.
Recently, I set up a phone consultation with a practitioner I considered hiring. I found this person from a resource database online – their website listed primary modalities of their practice and shared that even though they are based in a big city, they work virtually. I liked that this person had multiple decades of experience. In the phone consultation, I learned that they no longer live in the big city – they told me they’d relocated to Mt. Shasta (the same place I live!) after they felt spiritually called here.
Our consultation surprised me – there were parallels in our callings to Mt. Shasta and our spiritual practices. The conversation was heartwarming and highly synchronistic – again, nothing on this person’s website indicated that they are now based in Mt. Shasta or how their spiritual life influences their practice, yet here we were having this conversation! I had initially reached out to explore possibly hiring them as a practitioner – and in the past, this unexpected synchronistic connection might’ve led me to dismiss my inner sense with all-or-nothing words of, “But look at all the magical connections! You are meant to work with them!"
Instead, after pausing and reflecting on how my body felt both during and after our conversation, I realized there were a few key things that didn’t feel in alignment with what I’m looking for. Pausing and reflection allowed me to attune to my inner Yes around staying connected with this person as a friend/colleague and my inner No around hiring them as a practitioner.
Experiencing the magic of synchronicity can sometimes lead to urgent actions and all-or-nothing decisions. Sometimes a chance meeting really does lead to a “now or never” opportunity, and you take a leap, following the combination of evidence you have in the moment and instinct.
And real magic happens! A billboard or song was indeed a sign, inspiring you to go down a path that led you on an awe-inspiring adventure. A person you met in a magical way became a friend, lover, or collaborator who is a vital part of your life story. These sparks of magic are the stuff of inspiring stories and legends we tell again and again. They are the moments of life that are better than fiction, because if they were fiction, many people wouldn’t believe it.
As in most things, somewhat frustratingly, only the wise and weathered presence of time reveals how the seeds of synchronicity are destined to grow. Sometimes, a synchronistic seed may turn into a majestic oak with food for the whole forest. Other times, it may fail to sprout – needing time to compost into something new.
By giving yourself the time to be discerning and find the “hell, yes!” or “hell, no!” in your body, especially when the magic of a moment may cloud your discernment, you build greater intimacy and trust, both with yourself and with those you feel a synchronistic pull towards. If synchronicity is a spark, time is a cozy-warm ember that keeps the fire lit through the darkest of nights.
Take the time to cozy up to the embers and lean into the sometimes-subtle cues your body shares. Give yourself the grace of pausing and checking in on the fullness of your experience. Allow time to sllllooowww down so you can savor the messages your sweet self is attempting to share with you. In the fleeting, fluttery magic of a synchronistic experience, you still have the power to choose what’s right and true for you.
With love,
Madeline
PS: I currently have 1 space open for 1:1 Mentorship. If you're yearning for a dedicated space to grow intimacy and trust with the cues your body is attempting to share with you, I'd love to explore if Mentorship is a supportive fit for this time. Click here to learn more and apply.