Three stories to befriend and tend worry, shame, and fear🕊
This upcoming Saturday begins Befriending and Tending Worry, Shame, and Fear: a 3-class series for growing Trust, Self-Acceptance, and a felt sense of Safety with nervous system support, guided breath meditations, and assistance from the Angelic Realm.
Since I can only truly lead you through places I have moved through myself, today I am sharing three short stories on ways I've tended and befriended these feelings with the loving resource and support of the angels.
Whether or not you are called to join the class, I hope these stories offer you some encouragement to explore these uncomfortable feelings a little more and find ways to partner with them more harmoniously.
From Shame to
Self-Acceptance
Shame dims our true nature based on painful past experiences. I've learned from my teacher Rachael Maddox that shame isn't mental resistance; it's a physiological freeze in the nervous system that requires gentle permission, presence, and non-invasive connection to disarm and thaw. When shame lives in our systems, we repress parts of ourselves.
While I could write a 1,000 page novel on the many ways I've experienced and tended to shame, today I want to share a trite yet meaningful story of freeing shame and growing self-acceptance.
Last summer while visiting my family, we were on our way to dinner as I sat in the backseat with the window down. My mind wandered into daydreams—and seemingly out of nowhere, I felt jolted by my inner world. My face flushed red, and my heart started beating faster. My memory starkly resurfaced a time in 3rd grade when I had the responsibility of making an announcement to the entire school on the intercom. I had practiced it and memorized it so much that I decided I didn't need the piece of paper that told me what to say. I knew it by heart. When the time came to speak my part in front of the whole school on the intercom that morning, I froze. My mind went blank. I totally forgot my lines. Seconds passed like hours as my throat closed in. I messed up. I failed.
Decades later, the sensations of that memory emerged seemingly out of nowhere in the backseat of the car. Thankfully, now as an adult, I have tools. So I took a breath, put my hand on my heart, and invited this shame-filled feeling to take up some space. I saw the younger 3rd grade me, harshly self-critical and flushed with upset. I breathed and invited a resource of loving support to make itself known—something that could meet this feeling of shame. Inwardly, I saw what I can only describe as my crone self show up. This ancient wild woman with silver hair and wise, wrinkled skin and a sideways smile with a glittering twinkle in her eyes. She showed up laughing and embodied a sassy saltiness paired with boundless warmth. She said to the younger one within me:
So you made a mistake! That's part of being human. Imagine all your favorite authors and speakers. I guarantee all of them have fallen flat on their faces more than once throughout their lives. Don't let this bury you. Seeking perfection binds you to puppet strings. Mistakes sever the strings and allow you to weave them into wings that fly so much higher. I'm proud of you.
Prior to this experience, while I mentally knew that decades had passed and this memory was obviously not a big deal, my body hadn't yet fully processed it. With the crone version of myself showing up as a guardian angel to meet my shame with unconditional acceptance, it set the shame free. When I think of this memory now, I smile and feel proud of my young self's courage. I feel more encouraged to make mistakes and weave perfectionistic puppet strings into wings. I also feel excited about growing older :)
From Worry to Trust
My matrilineage is woven with worriers. My mom has always been a worrier. Her mother worried. Her mother's mother worried. I've been aware of my worrying tendencies from a young age. That said: over the last decade, my commitment to inner work and healing has significantly reduced my worrying, and after a few years of this work, I rarely experienced worry or anxiety at all. But… that changed when I met my romantic partner. He summits tall mountains on backcountry skis, rock climbs in remote places, and departs into the wilderness for days at a time without phone service. I love his adventurous spirit and the way his practices nurture his deep connection to nature. *And* during the first year of our relationship, whenever he would go out on a trip, even though he has always been consistent with checking in with me throughout, the waves of worry and panic became nearly unmanageable. The tools I had leaned on throughout my life didn't seem to cut it anymore, and sometimes I spiraled into complete panic.
In moments of equilibrium, I returned to my most tried-and-true practice: prayer. I asked the angels to please assist me in growing trust—to guide me to the right people, practitioners, practices, inside-out truths, really ANYTHING that could help me relate to this worry in a nourishing way. Shortly thereafter, a friend mentioned an unconventional practitioner they had recently begun working with. I felt an intuitive light turn on within me and decided to reach out. This practitioner worked with me by recommending specific nutritional shifts. We also worked with processing and releasing ancient grief activated within my consciousness by this situation.
It has been nearly six months since I implemented these changes, and while I still occasionally experience worry, it is more at a level between 2-4 whereas previously it felt completely and consistently maxed out at 9-10. One of the many reasons I love resourcing with angels is because the Divine knows everyone and everything on Earth. If I have a problem, Spirit can see a solution, or at the very least a next step on the pathway towards resilience and grace. It is my responsibility to listen and lean into the feedback life offers me with discernment and sovereign choice.
From Fear to Safety
Ten years ago, my life pivoted into a completely fresh direction thanks to connecting with angels, particularly the Archangel Michael. At that time in my life, nighttime was excruciatingly terrifying for me; I tried falling asleep with a light on, had a very hard time sleeping alone, and often tossed and turned in my bed, wide awake until dawn when the sun's rays soothed me to sleep at last.
After a few months of this (and a lifetime of going in and out of phases with intense night terrors), I found a book on Archangel Michael, read it in one day, and began calling upon Michael and asking for help with experiencing safety within so I could sleep. The first night I asked for Michael to be with me, I felt a warm, slightly intense yet comforting energy around me. While the gripping fear was still present inside of me, the presence of Archangel Michael was more powerful. It felt like the Archangelic presence held my fear like a baby...and I started to calm down.
Over the coming months of calling upon Michael, my fear of the dark faded. I began sleeping soundly, no longer needed a nightlight, and…over ten years later, it still stands. While I still have occasional nights of feeling fear when going to sleep, I haven't had to sleep with a nightlight since. Archangel Michael taught me how to experience safety inside myself.
I don't relate to the angels as saviors or more powerful beings outside of me. My experience is the angels meet us within and serve as loving, gentle, yet strong guides to help us remember the Truth inside.
That yes, we have things to do and learn and grow – some of which will be immensely challenging - but we don't have to do it alone.
If you feel called to tend and befriend these elements inside with curiosity and care, I invite you to join me for this 3-class series. We'll explore how these three feelings show up in the nervous system and ways you can discover and deepen your inner resources—guided, protected, directed, and encouraged by your angels.
Whether you join me for class or not, I hope this email serves as a comfort and invitation: if you have your own stories of worry, shame, and fear, you are not alone. It is so deeply brave to be human! Know that you can call on the angels for comfort and support at any time.
Love,
Madeline