Today's writing is for those who've felt disheartened by receiving an intuitive reading in some way — be it astrology, human design, general 'intuitive' reflections, or perhaps reading something about your chart in a book and taking on the words shared as gospel.

While receiving readings can be illuminating, inspiring, and validating, they can also be misleading and disempowering, especially in the absence of open-ended reflection and nuance.

For anyone who's ever succumbed to saying, “Well, my chart says X…so that's just how I am,” this story is for you. May it serve and support you.

Several years ago, I attended a weekend workshop where one of the exercises was to partner with the person across from you in the circle. We would then go around the circle, and the partner (a stranger) would “use their intuition” to tune in and tell you if your throat chakra is open or closed. I remember it being a simple “yes” or “no,” and we went around the circle and shared our senses. When it was my turn to be assessed, my partner looked at me with a searing sense of confidence and said: “No.”

At that point in my life, I had recently started sharing classes publicly. I had uprooted and rerooted my life and was openly sharing topics that had been entirely private to me. From my perspective, my throat chakra was undergoing a massive activation…I was tenderly opening up a channel that had been closed up until that point.

At that time, I also took everything as an invitation for deeper inner work. If I felt triggered, that was on me; clearly, there was something within my consciousness that needed to be looked at, emotionally processed, and alchemized on my own. While today I continue to view every life experience as an opportunity for growth, I no longer take on every little thing as mine to process. Nor do I consider that everything that triggers me is due to some fault in my psyche. Sometimes it's a situation within a relationship or group space that isn't “all on me.” Other times the best next step is to simply walk away.

So while it hurt hearing that word, given how I was showing up in my life both internally and externally, I swallowed down the No and accepted responsibility for more work to be done. I bought into the belief that getting a “Yes! Your throat chakra is open!” was my goal. Receiving a yes would mean that I'm living right.

And I have spent years working on voice wounds, visibility wounds, fears of being seen and heard. I still tend to this inner terrain, yet today, I am stronger within myself — and looking back on that workshop ignites a fire within me for several reasons.

1. There is no nuance, and therefore no poetry; it's either “open” or “closed.”

2. At this point in my life, I do not consent to a stranger 'intuitively' reading me.

3. It's simply not true. It's a lie.

I have a fantasy of returning to this scene, and instead of swallowing down the No with a polite nod, I storm into the circle and voice: 

Is my throat chakra open?
I am a burnt-down butterfly forest with 19 lives. I am a web that weaves languages unseen. I am a fermenting fallen star. I am a cauldron gone cold. I am the silence of the wind, watching, witnessing, waiting. 

Is my throat chakra open?
Perhaps not. But that's because you're not allowed in. I am closed for rewilding. I am closed for reforesting. I am closed because my expression cannot be caught and commodified.

Is my throat chakra open?
She's shrouded in mists, and finding her requires a journey across a lamp-lit enchanted lake. She is not easy to see, she must be sought… and even then, you may not hear her. You may not find her. You may not recognize her.

Is my throat chakra open?
Not for everyone. Not every day. Not always 100%.

In my fantasy, I then blow a magical dust into the circle - disappearing into the ethers, leaving the workshop without looking back.

**

Since attending this workshop many years ago, I've become more present to the unconscious biases and beliefs that tend to run rampant in spiritually-minded communities. Biases that sound like …

Open = Good and the goal
Closed = Bad and something to be worked on, fixed

I have also reflected on my own biases around open and closed expression. I used to believe that having an open throat chakra equated with being on stage, writing bestselling books, being seen and known by a large audience. Sharing openly and consistently = putting it all out there. I no longer believe that. 

Today, I celebrate my edges and the parts of me that are closed. Thank God my throat chakra is not open 24/7. I'm not always available, and I don't spill my thoughts, opinions, and reflections anywhere and everywhere.

Have you ever been told something about yourself that didn't sit right with you, yet you swallowed it down? Have you ever deferred to someone you deemed wiser than you? Have you ever taken on someone else's words about you, your chart, or the subtleties of your expression as gospel?

If so, ask yourself: is this really true? Is this an accurate reflection of my experience? Are there unconscious biases or beliefs that are affecting this reflection? 

In a time when there are infinite apps, intuitive readers, and astrology reports for every life event, reclaiming your personal power and exercising discernment is vital to leading a life on your terms, not someone else's. 

How are you called to tell a more accurate story about your Self? About the nuances of your open and closed expression? About who you are at your core?

If you find yourself haunted by “intuitive” input that came from a source outside of yourself, whether from an intuitive reading, a tarot card, a psychic, an astrologer, a therapist, or a friend or family member - in my experience, the first step is to pause and acknowledge that something feels hurtful and/or off. Words can hurt and cause harm, especially when we consciously or unconsciously give our power away to someone else's word and take what was said as truth.

From this space, you might spend some time journaling or reflecting on the input you received - Why is it bothering you? Why or why not does it feel true? If the input itself is false, what IS true? What is your truth? 

Beginning by acknowledging that something feels off can help you reclaim your power and begin the process of repairing a breached boundary within your inner world. It can take time and a healthy dose of courage to take off the story that someone else has placed upon you - yet it's so worth it. 

Don't let a reading or inaccurate reflection define your destiny. Only you can define the true story of your Self, your Soul, the cosmic weavings that threaded you here and now. You get to decide whether your astrology, your human design, your Gene Keys, your archetype, your Enneagram, your (insert system here) is helpful or limiting. And you can rewrite the supposed prophecies on your personality and life by leaning more into the choices you're making in the present. 

I recently read a brilliant excerpt from Sophie Strand - she wrote, “A well-articulated desire is more powerful than a prophetic vision or prediction. The prophecy attempts to exert control while the desire functions as a devotional surrender.”

We are all way more wildly poetic than a limiting label. If you've been relying too much on any type of label, whether your zodiac sign, a psychic reading, a label your therapist has given you, or even a comment your coworker made, here's a permission slip to set it aside and realign with the compass that resides within you. 

It will never steer you wrong.

Love,
Madeline